Table Topics: What Do You Want To Be When (If) You Grow Up?

Table Topic Master: Jennifer Moon
Date: July 21, 2011
Theme: What do you want to be when (if) you grow up?

Introduction

What do you do for a living? What would you do if you could pick another career? Today is your opportunity to step into a pair of ballet slippers, work boots or diving fins. You get to be something or somebody you're not — and have fun doing it. The purpose of Table Topics is to deliver a mini-speech without much time to prepare. Our theme today is occupations.

Do you know what a bed rubber does? How about a flatcar whacker? Well, the first operates machines which smooth stone blocks and the whackers? Well, they maintain and repair logging rail cars. Not exact job titles I remember from my childhood. What do you want to be when you grow up? How about a carroter? They condition fur for use in hat manufacturing. Not to your tastes? What about becoming a worm picker? Yes, even the local bait and tackle store needs only the best in hermaphroditic lures.

Today is all about dream jobs and unusual occupations, so I've selected some topics and a word of the day to help us have some fun as we contemplate our career choices. On each of the slips you’ll find a position title and it’s your job to concoct a crazy, funny or intriguing story for us in about one minute. You can tell us about your first day on the job, pretend that you're hiring for the position or maybe you are at your retirement party, thankful to be leaving the profession. No matter what, you are asked to use the word of the day.

• Today’s word is: Diligent (adjective)
• Meaning: hard-working, showing care or effort
• Example: The diligent researcher checked the measurements multiple times.

All members are required to use the word or they will be fined 50 cents. Guests are encouraged to participate and to use the word, but both are optional. After the Table Topics session, we will be voting to pick our favourite speaker. To be eligible for the vote, speakers must stay within the time limits. Timer, please show the green light at 30 seconds, the amber light at 45 seconds and the red at 60 seconds. Those speaking for less than 30 seconds or more than 1 minute, 15 seconds will be disqualified from the vote.

Table Topics Slips

1. Forest Fire Lookout
2. Zoo Keeper
3. Dinosaur Hunter
4. Bomb Expert
5. Mad Scientist
6. Opera Singer
7. Cowboy or Cowgirl
8. Treasure Hunter
9. Wine Tester
10. Taste Tester
11. Crocodile Farmer
12. Fortune Teller
13. Detective
14. Professional Whistler
15. Rodeo Clown
16. Furniture Tester
17. Exterminator
18. Pilot
19. Pirate
20. Astronaut (winner)
21. Professional Athlete
22. Rock Star
23. Talk Show Host
24. Actor on a Soap Opera

Table Topics Winner
The ribbon for best Table Topic went to Trevor Kelly who spoke about becoming an astronaut.